Is this the right thing?

Is this the best thing for me to do or am I getting it all wrong?
Am I doing what's right or am I hurting us both?
The ache inside grows, hightens, peaks and breaks again,
The space hightening and numbing the pain at the same time.
I feel the echo of you, ringing deep within me,
Surging up from deep in the well of my heart,
Pain, loss, anguish.
Yours.
Become mine.
The walls, the sheilds, are built to withstand from without.
But it is from inside the barrage comes.
I feel you hurt, I feel me hurt,
It mingles until I can't know from where it comes.
I curve, curl, quiver, I cannot.
I reach for you. Do you reach for me? No.
If this is juat an echo, what of you?
Are you consumed?
I scream inside. Why? Why am I doing this?
Why did I choose this path?
I burn within, without. Goddess save us, what am I doing?
Why don't I go to him? Why can't I save him?
Concern mingles with the pain,
Like a storm it rolls,
I cannot sit, I cannot be still
I cannot talk, I cannot chill,
I cannot stay, I cannot go,
I cannot hold on, I cannot let go.
Stuck in this place, this limbo.
For good or ill I dont know.
What can I do, What should I do?
I hate myself, yet cannot move.
I just want to see you.

Free to destroy

Touch me, stroke me;
Excite me, prevoke me.

You know you can, you know you want to;
You know you will, you know your free to.

Grab me, hold me;
Push me, fold me.

You know you can, you know you want to;
You know you will, you know your free to.

Grip me, take me;
Grasp me, shake me.

You know you can, you know you want to;
You know you will, you know your free to.

Capture me, hurt me;
Bind me, exert me.

You know you can, you know you want to;
You know you will, you know your free to.

Scare me, use me;
Guilt me, abuse me.

You know you can, you know you want to;
You know you will, you know your free to.

Ignore me, unfriend me,
Destroy me, end me.

You know you can, you know you want to;
You know you will, you know your free to.

Trust

Trust once broken is never quite the same again. If I am insecure, if I freak out at any little thing, if something that should make me happy makes me suspicious, its cause you broke my trust.

If you purposely keep it from me, it means there is something going on. If it was nothing, just something on the level, you wouldn't have to keep it from me would you?

That hurt still remains. And will remain until you are open with me.

Struck by the wings of a Raven
Morgan

When you're here all I want to do is enjoy the moment and be happy, but when you're gone all I can think about is the cracks in that happiness.

The moment.

I realised something about how I live my life. I live in the moment.
If I am unhappy right now, then I am unhappy. If I am happy right now, I am happy.
The past doesn't weigh in, the future might never come.

All the things that I worked towards in the past, they don't mean anything now. They're gone.
All the things I wish for the fututre, I can't count on ever happening.

For me there is only now. Last week has no relation to this week. Next week has no relation to this week. There is only this week.

There is only right now. And right now, I'm sad.

Burdened by Raven wings
-Morgan

I Heart Cars

Omg, I love cars.

I had a friend drive me to another friends house, and he turns up in a sports car. I didn't know he owned one.
Fast, low, slightly reckless. Wow that's hot.
I thought he was cute before but now... He's a challenger for my Raven alright. Well, he would be if he didn't have a girlfriend already.

I did always think he was cute, and nice. Kind. Would probably treat me better.
Ah well.
It was just a car ride.

But I did love it.

Black Dog.

I've been struggeling with a bout of the black dog over the past week.

Bursting into tears over nothing or near nothing and sitting on the  floor with the tears streaming down my face is no fun.
Currantly sitting on a wooden floor, curled up listening to Dido.
I guess that doesnt really help does it.

Ugh.
i have a headache and feel like puking.

You don't want to know this do you?
Too bad. Take the good with the bad or get out.

Wishing she could dry her eyes on Raven wings.
-Morgan